PART 1
There once was a chicken named Grover, except chickens can’t spell, so it was actually spelled Clover. Clover also was not male, but female, but Clover was really ugly compared to her peers. Her sisters had fluffy, red feathers or sleek black ones dappled with white, but Clover was naked because the mites liked her flesh better than the other hens’.
To avoid humiliation, Clover stayed away from the other hens as much as possible. When she did have to venture out in public, she would wear the leaf, apron, and cloak she’d made for herself. This did not help much, for the other hens still mocked Clover when she was about.
The only chicken who was ridiculed the way Clover was was Selkie, who had stringy, white feathers that looked more like the sheepdog’s fur than any bird’s feathers and whose feathers completely obscured her eyes. Selkie hardly went out in public, either.
But neither of these chickens is important to the story because this story is actually about a rooster named Chuk and his love for a chicken in Oklahoma. Chuk was a handsome rooster with vibrant, red feathers and exotic, emerald tail feathers that made all the hens swoon. Though he’d fathered the chicks of several hens in the flock, Chuk’s heart belonged to Arleginia, the perfectly black chicken.
The problem was that Chuk had never met Arleginia because his parents and her parents had actually arranged a marriage for them. The wedding was postponed until after Chuk’s father recovered from the heart attack he had upon discovering Chuk’s illegitimate chicks. But Chuk really wanted to see Arleginia. She was rumored to be more beautiful than the night sky and fairer than all the hens in the and. Chuk packed a bindle and set out, but not before getting stopped by a mysterious tan chicken in sunglasses.
“Hey, you,” she said in a husky voice.
Chuk turned to her.
“Yeah, you. Strut this way.” He did. “I heard you want to see this girl…Arleginia…”
“Yeah,” said Chuk, “but who are you?”
“I am Fostera,” revealed the tan chicken, “and you need me on your journey.”
“Why?”
“I have predicted that a young rooster will need the assistance of three hens to reach his beloved,” explained Fostera. “Clover, Selkie, come forth!”
So a naked chicken clothed with leaves and a shaggy, white chicken stepped out from the shadows, because it was dark outside.
“We will help you on your quest,” said Clover.
“We’re with you until the end,” said Selkie.
“See?” Fostera clucked. “You will not be alone in your trek.”
“Cool,” said Chuk.
Then Selkie turned around and grabbed three bindles from the bush nearby, and the four fowls ventured off into what remained of the sunset.
The birds adventured through valleys and cities and meadows and swamps, but if I wrote about it all, this would be too long. Finally, they made it to Oklahoma, but Clover died of cold on the way there. She was buried in Washington.
Now Chuk was really grateful for Fostera’s and Selkie’s help. His heart fluttered from being nervous as he approached a chicken coop. He crowed.
A chicken opened the door, and she was jet black with sparkly eyes, and she had a slender body. It was Arleginia!
She recognized her fiancé, and the two hugged.
Fostera turned to Selkie. “Our work here is done.”
Then, the tan chicken and the white one spread their wings and shot straight up into the sky and disappeared in a twinkle.
THE END
PART 2
After Fostera’s and Selkie’s adventure to Oklahoma, Selkie alighted upon her perch back home in Flamabama where she was hailed a hero but Chuk’s parents, the elders, and so also by the hens who used to make fun of her. Nobody remembered poor Clover, not even Selkie.
Selkie liked all the attention she was getting back home. The hens doted over her fur-like feathers and pure white color. But things started to get too much for Selkie. Chuk’s father, Grand o’ Dor, whose name was spelled Cran do Dor, adored Selkie for her deed and felt indebted to her so much that he wanted to devote to her a son to marry. However, since Chuk was his only son, Cran do Dor decided to give away his daughter, Krysamthamin, to Selkie instead. Poor Krysamthamin had already been made Selkie’s servant and had to comb Selkie’s feathers daily, which were starting to go bald because of the mites that abandoned Clover.
“Yes, yes, this is an offer you simply cannot refuse,” said Cran do Dor to a horrified Selkie. And he meant it, too. Cran do Dor assigned a random hen to accompany Selkie whenever she left her roost so that she would not run away.
“I cannot marry a girl!” cried Selkie at home. Krysamthamin sympathized, not realizing Selkie’s fiancée was actually her.
That night, Selkie plotted to run away. But how?! Darmda guarded her front door 24 hours a day. Then she thought, “I shall peck open a hole in the screen,” except she thought aloud and woke up Krysamthamin.
“You can’t do that,” said the unwitting fiancée. “Foxes will surely eat us.”
“But I cannot marry a girl. Oh, how dreadful!”
Then the whistle of a dodo bird called out. Selkie and Krysamthamin look about—side-to-side, up and down, then craned their heads all the way around—but they didn’t see anything.
Then suddenly, the glare of sunglasses bounced off the coop’s mesh and frightened Selkie and Krysamthamin who squawked and flapped loudly. The shades-donning bird put a feather to her beak and shushed the panicking hens. They calmed and could made out the figure of a tan chicken.
Chickens’ memories being worse than their spelling, Selkie did not remember her other former companion nor did the tan chicken have any recollection of travelling with the shaggy, white hen.
“Hey, you,” rasped the tan chicken in a whisper.
Krysamthamin pointed at herself. “Me?”
“No, not you. You.”
“Me?” Selkie asked.
“Yeah, you. Come here.”
Selkie waddled up to the mesh where the tan chicken was.
“I heard you want to run away…escape somewhere where you won’t be forced to marry another hen.”
“Yeah,” nodded Selkie.
“You need me on your journey,” continued the tan chicken.
“Okay.”
“I have already prepared bindles.” Then suddenly in a whoosh, the roof of the coop was torn open and the chicken wearing sunglasses returned to the mesh. “Follow me.”
“Okay.”
“Can I come, too?” pleaded Krysamthamin.
“You may come along if you wish, young hen,” said the tan chicken. Suddenly, Selkie and Krysamthamin were transported outside of the coop, and Darmda didn’t even have any idea because she had dozed off the whole time the tan chicken was here. That’s because the tan chicken sprinkled sleeping sand into Darmda’s eyes.
The three chickens took up their bindles and began to walk. They trekked through sleet and hailstorms, blizzards, erupting volcanoes, Chick-fil-A, sinking quicksand, and even had to swim underwater until they arrived at a chicken metropolis known as Chickopolis.
“Here we are,” said the tan chicken. “A place where you won’t be forced to marry another hen.”
“It’s perfect,” said Selkie. Selkie really liked Chickopolis because she saw a lot of chickens with stringy, white feather like her walking in public without being persecuted. In fact, every chicken was like her.
Krysamthamin was intimidated by all the white chickens, so she stuck close to Selkie.
“Then my work here is done,” said Don Coyote. She adjusted her sunglasses and then launched herself up into the sky and disappeared in the twinkle of Krysamthamin’s watering eye.
THE END…?
PART 3
Back in Oklahoma, Chuk had been living a humbling and gratifying country lifestyle with Arleginia, his wife, and his four chicks. Two of his daughters were jet black like their mother, on was red like her father. Their only son, by some freak accident of genetics, was tan and was born wearing sunglasses. Arleginia named the two black daughters Maywallah and Sharmie and the red one Darmda after Chuk’s mother, but also because it was a popular chicken name at the time. But Chuk name his tan son Foster after the hen that gave him his new life with his wife with little strife.
Chuk’s and Arleginia’s relationship was strong, and their chicks grew rapidly. As it turned out, Foster’s sunglasses were actually a part of his face and could not be removed. This made Arlgeinia sad because she was convinced that he, unlike all of his sisters, must have adopted her sparkling eyes. His sisters grew fat fast off of all the berries Chuk and Foster grew.
Yes, life was good for Chuk and his family. But one day, something felt off. That night, he dreamed of a city of white chickens and none of them were married. That’s because there were no roosters, and marriage was banned, anyway But in his dream arrived two new chickens, and the white city of chickens did not receive them well Their eyes turned red, and they were ready to turn the poor new hens into chicken nuggets!
Chuk had never had a nightmare that bad and so told Arleginia about it.
“It was just a dream,” she tried to comfort. But Chuk knew that it was more than a dream. It was real life.
“But it was more than a dream,” insisted Chuk. “It was real life!”
Arleginia got mad at her husband because he sounded ridiculous and wouldn’t listen to her. “So why don’t you go do something about it if it’s that important?” This was Chuk’s and Arleginia’s first fight.
“Because I don’t know where this city is!” cried Chuk.
Chuk’s son, Foster, was eavesdropping the whole time from around the corner. A fiery passion burned within the infinite blackness of his sunglasses because Foster knew this city deep in his little chicken heart.
It was Chickopolis.
“I don’t like this place,” said Krysamthamin.
“It’ll be okay,” said Selkie because it was going to be okay for her.
They walked into the city where they were soon stopped for conversation by a native Chickpolan.
“Hello, S E L K I E and S T R A N G E R,” said the native.
“Wow! She knows my name!” said Selkie.
Krysamthamin was scared.
“What brings you to C H I C K O P O L I S today?”
“Don Coyote brought us here, to a land where we won’t be forced to marry other hens,” explained Selkie.
The native chicken cocked its head and stared blankly in Selkie’s and Krysamthamin’s direction for a few seconds before answering, “Yes. Here in C H I C K O P O L I S, you will never have to… B E W E D.”
Krysamthamin tried to discreetly signal to Selkie that they should leave, but Selkie was enjoying the native chicken’s company.
“This place seems really nice,” said Selkie.
There was a pause. “Yes. C H I C K O P O L I S is clean and pure.”
“I think I’d like to live here.”
“…Then why do you not go to THE RESIDENCY OFFICE and PATSTRIASA can assist you there?”
“Where is the residency office?”
“…It is on the top floor of that skyscraper.”
Arleginia locked herself in her room. Chuk sulked outside. Foster came hopping up to his dad.
“Hey, Dad.”
Chuk turned to his son.
“Yeah, you. I heard you dreamt of a city…Chickopolis…”
“Yeah, but how did you know?”
“That part is not important. I know how to get to Chickopolis.”
“You do?”
“And you need me on your journey.”
“Why? Can’t you just tell me the way, son? It might be dangerous! No, stay and watch over your mother and sisters.”
“But I’ve predicted that you will need the assistance of your children to save a former companion… and your sister.”
“Children? Sister?!”
“Maywallah, Sharmie, Darmda, come forth!”
So two black sisters and a red one stepped out from around the corner.
“We’ve got your back, Daddy!” said Maywallah.
“I’m sleepy,” said Sharmie.
“We will avenge Clover,” said Darmda.
“See?” said Foster. “We shall help you on your adventure!”
“No,” commanded Chuk. “I am a father, and I say at least two of you must stay with your mother.”
Sharmie volunteered to stay home and ran off inside, but Maywallah and Darmda argued over who would go with her dad. Darmda wanted to avenge Clover, but Maywallah argued that not everyone at home can be black or else their mom will really miss their dad. In the end, I chose Darmda to go because her name is shorter than Maywallah’s.
After Maywallah shut the door, Chu and his son and one of his daughters lifter their bindles and trotted away into the sunset.
“Next,” called out Patstriasa. Unlike all the other chickens in Chickopolis except for Krysamthamin and also a visiting royal diplomat from France, Patstriasa was not white with stringy feathers. She was red and was barred with black bars.
Selkie and Krysamthamin came up to the window.
“How may I help you?” asked Patstriasa.
“We want to apply for residency,” explained Selkie.
Patstriasa lowered her reading glasses and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Aren’t you already a resident?”
“No,” said Selkie.
“What number are you, Selkie?” asked Patstriasa.
“You know my name, too!” said Selkie.
“What number are you?”
Selkie didn’t know how to answer, so Patstriasa just entered “UNKNOWN” for Selkie’s number.
“And what is your name?” Patstriasa said to Krysamthamin.
“Chrysanthemum,” said Krysamthamin.
“Spell that.”
“Um.” Krysamthamin, like all chickens, could not properly spell. “Qrisannhmim,” she spelled.
So Patstriasa entered, “QRISANMHNIM,” into the computer. Then the chickens’ profiles popped up, and Patstriasa’s face turned white, except nobody could see that because she was covered in feathers.
“Oh no,” she said aloud.
“What’s wrong?” asked Krysamthamin.
“It says that you two are… engaged.”
“We’re not!” cried Selkie.
But Patstriasa did not know their backstory, so she hit a big red button on the wall and the building went dark save for the red glares of light. A siren sounded.
Suddenly, every chicken that was in the lobby turned toward Selkie and Krysamthamin, and their eyes were glowing red.
Krysamthamin was very scared of all the SELKIEs, but Selkie grabbed her foot with her own foot and spread her wings and shot straight up through the roof and into the sky, which was black and red. But because chickens’ memories are bad, Selkie didn’t remember to disappear in a twinkle, and the two hens started to plummet right into a throng of SELKIEs!
But right then, a flurry of red and tan swooped underneath Selkie and Krysamthamin and rescued them! Chuck cradled his sister in her wings and it took both children to hold Selkie. Then they glided to a platform unoccupied by SELKIEs.
“We don’t have much time,” said Foster. Chuk, Foster, and Darmda put down Krysamthamin and Selkie. “I know a fast way out of here, but it’ll be dangerous.”
“How do we escape?” said Selkie.
“The sky is impenetrable,” said Darmda. “We can’t go through it.”
“There is another way,” said Foster. “But we’ll have to work as a team.
The sound of SELKIEs climbing up to the platform sounded from below the chickens.
“Dad, Darmda, and I will form a revolving triangle from which Selkie and Auntie will swing around and deflect the SELKIEs. But we’re missing one chicken for this to work!”
The SELKIEs were getting closer! But then suddenly, a distinguished cock adorned with shiny clothes descended from his flight onto the platform.
“I am the royal diplomat Alexandre, and I shall assist you,” said Alexandre.
“Eggcellent,” said Foster. “Now our plan will work.”
The first SELKIE made it onto the platform, and it ran after the six with a beak full of fangs. Chuk and his children locked talons and formed a triangle. The three remaining chickens each grabbed the locked feet with one o their own and did a split so that the other foot was extended out. Then, they all rolled at a rapid pace off the platform, circling like a weapon, and mowed down all the SELKIEs right out of the way all the way out of Chickopolis. Then they let go and all flew to Oklahoma.
When they got to Oklahoma, Alexandre said, “Now I must take my leave and return to France. I ust report the disturbing behavieur of the citizens of Chickopolis to the king and queen. Farewell.” And then Alexandre spun around in circles until he disappeared into a tiny little dot.
Chuk then said, “Wait here,” to Selkie, Krysamthamin, and the children. He knocked on the door.
Arleginia answered the door, but streak of gray lined her face, breast, and wings. “Oh, Chuk!” she cried. The two hugged. “Where are Darmda and Foster, our beloved children?” Then Darmda and Foster came an hugged their mom.
Then Arleginia saw Selkie and Krysamthamin. Chuk introduced the hens, and all were invited inside.
Then Foster said, “My work here is done,” and the sunglasses that had been permanently attached to his face fell off to reveal large, sparkling eyes. Arleginia squealed with joy.
Then Arleginia, Chuk, Foster, Darmda, Selkie, and Krysamthamin spread their wings and shot straight up into the sky and left Maywallah and Sharmie in a twinkle.
THE END
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
Peace be with you all. Matthew 11:28-11:30 and John 10. :3
