Mani Mani 2 sprite [FAN-FIC] Mother 2; Moonbound

"Those bound to the moons side hunger, what will sate this greed?"

sprite Fox4729

    Hey everyone, I’ve been working on this project for a while and I wanted to get some feedback.

    It’s a rewrite of a story I use to contribute to a long time ago: https://forum.starmen.net/forum/Fan/Writing/IF-MoonBound/page/1/

    I wanted to try and bring back and improve a story that I not only enjoyed reading but making also, so tell me what you think of my story featuring the return of the Mani Mani and the rise of new challenges that will test our young hero’s.

    Also this won’t be an ongoing thing, I want to have a large amount of this done before I start posting it on here. This is just me seeing how I’m doing so far.


    Chapter 1: One Fateful Night
    “All right, guys, it’s been real, but it’s closing time,” Jackie said. It had been a relatively quiet night, and the usual ebb and flow of regulars had come and gone, leaving the bar empty, save two remaining occupants; an out of town couple from Winters on a vacation to Eagleland. The stools had been cleaned, flipped on top of their respective tables, the floor swept, and the glasses washed, dried, and put away upon the shelves behind the counter, pristine ready for tomorrow’s workday. He walked over to the jukebox to unplug it for the night. As the pair left out of the door, the bell chimed out a familiar ring denoting their exit. As he reached down towards the outlet, he heard it ring a second time.

    “Look I’m not gonna say it twice, we’re close-”
    “Not here for a drink.” A large hooded man stood between Jackie and the exit. He removed the hood of his black jacket to reveal a black bandana obscuring the bottom half of his face, a dirty blond mop of hair, and a pair of blue eyes, the crazed look within them Jackie could remember with a sick nostalgia. Monotoli used to have that look.


    “Take the money in the register, then,” Jackie said.
    He could feel a cool sweat begin to form on the back of his neck, slow trickles of anxiety in response to his growing sense of unease. The man pointed the metal bat he had been resting on his shoulder when he entered the bar toward Jackie.
    “Not here for money, either, mate.”
    The man walked behind the counter and let out a whistle of appreciation. “Lookie what we have here.” He hefted a large sledgehammer from behind the bar, laying his bat on the counter. “A right beauty she is! I imagine this situation would’ve gone less than cordial if you’d had this fiery number at your side.” He looked up from his admiration of the hammer to lock eyes with Jackie, who was staring at him intently.
    “Look,” said the thief calmly, a chilling contrast to mania lying behind his eyes. Barely contained.
    “I know you kept the pieces of it. Just give them to me, and this fine establishment you run will remain intact.”
    “Pieces of wh-” Again Jackie was cut off, not by the surprise of an unwanted guest, but by the abrupt shattering of dozens of glasses. The thief had whipped the sledgehammer in a blur of motion, ripping through shelves, glasses, and bottles sending a deluge of alcohol and glass shards flying in all directions. Leaving a dent in the wall.


    “Try lyin’ to me again & the next thing I break is you, Jackie-boy.”
    “Where. Are. The. Pieces?”
    The look in his eyes told Jackie that this was no idle threat. He pointed to a door. “In the storage room.” Compliance would be the only way out; the thief had made that very clear.
    “Go on and grab them for me. Being locked in your store room’s not the way I’d like to end my night. I’m at bit touched with the madness, but I’ve never been slow, Jackie-boy,” the hooded man said.
    With these words, Jackie’s heart sank. He had pinned his hopes on this thief being careless at the last second. He moved towards the door, the sounds of his boots on the tile and the crunch of broken glass underfoot the only sounds to be heard, save for the intermittent roars of thunder outside, the precursor to a brewing storm. He hoped that couple had made it to a hotel before the rain started.
    He opened the door, flipped the light switch on, and headed for the corner where the statue pieces resided, moving a mountain of boxes stacked upon one another in an effort to save space. After Ness had destroyed the foul idol during his last adventure, Jackie had gathered the pieces up into a sack and left them in a box in a dank corner of the storeroom, hoping it’d never again see the light of day; hoping that its corruption would never infect another heart and soul.

    “I should’ve tossed them in the sea and been done with it,” he muttered to himself, regretting the decision to keep any memento of the statue, thinking any harm it could do was long past.
    He lifted the sack from the box, not even daring to look inside. He knew all too well what was within. It radiated an aura of maleficence causing the hairs on the back of Jackie’s neck to stand on end. He exited the storeroom to find the thief sitting on the counter of the bar, his baseball bat resting on his shoulder and the sledgehammer returned to its covert spot, on the shelf beneath the cash register.
    The man hopped from the counter at Jackie’s approach and snatched the bag from his grasp, a murmur of appreciation leaving his lips as he inspected the contents.
    “Ahh, there we are! Now, was that so hard?” the thief called over his shoulder as he made his way out the door into the night.

    He exited the bar, hastily making his way toward the Monotoli building, the crashing of thunder and the steady tap of his feet on the pavement were all that could be heard. As he neared the front of the skyscraper, a dull light shone at the base of its steps. The bag wrenched itself from the thief’s grasp to land within the light. A dazzling flash erupted forth as the bag tore from the inside out, the light pouring from it barely contained blinding him momentarily. When his vision returned, there stood a golden statue, immaculate, and still glowing with a supernatural light.
    Its visage, a horned man plunging a blade into a pedestal.
    “Finally!” the man cried out, “No more nightmares, no more visions!” He sank to his knees, something between a laugh and a sob escaping his throat. A voice spoke in his mind.

    ’You’ve done well. Here is your reward.’
    CRASH! BOOM! BANG!


    His world went white, then he felt nothing.


    Chapter 2: Artificial Flavoring
    Ring ring
    Ring ring
    *Ring ri-

    “Hello?”
    He answered the phone groggily, waking from what would perhaps be his last peaceful sleep.
    “Monotoliit’sadiaster!”
    “Jackie? What’s the problem?”
    “HetookithecameinwhenIwasclosingthebarandstoleit!”
    “Waitwaitwait, slow down I can’t understand anything you’re saying!”
    Mr. Monotoli’s sleep-addled mind could barely keep up with the torrent of information the bartender was desperately and hastily trying to convey.
    “Who took what?”
    On the other line, he could hear Jackie take a deep breath in an attempt to compose himself. After a couple seconds and a few more deep breaths, Jackie spoke.
    “The statue, Geldegarde… someone came in… and stole the pieces.”

    He was stunned, his mind racing to grasp what the resurgence of that un-holy idol would lead to. It was bad enough he himself and countless others had been swayed by its influence, but now some rogue had made off with its pieces for god knew what reason. Monotoli could feel a deep weight settle in his stomach, and his mouth went dry.

    “How long ago did this happen?”
    “About fifteen minutes ago.”
    “Alright. Call the authorities and let them know there’s been a robbery. If they catch him before he can do anything with the pieces, we might be able to nip this nightmare in the bud.”
    “Sounds like a plan. What are you going to do?”
    “I’ll try to get into contact with Ness. If anyone can take care of this kind of problem, it’d be that kid.”
    “I’ll get right on it. And, Geldegarde?”
    “Yes?”
    “Stay safe. I have a feeling things are going to get worse before they get better.”
    “You too.”

    Monotoli hung up the phone and laid back in his bed, memories of his last encounter with Ness and his friends flashing through his mind. He knew firsthand of the corruption that statue instigated. Paula was instantly forgiving. Somehow knowing it had warped his mind and manipulated the weakness in his heart, though he still felt guilty for having such weakness in the first place. His time as a politician had left him greedy and self-centered, making it all too easy for him to be played by Porky, and, by extension, Giygas’ influence.

    He rose from his bed several minutes later, turning on the lights in his apartment. A grim but constant reminder of his time as mayor, the many illicit deals and “donations” he had received being more than enough to afford him the luxury he’d once flaunted with such pride and arrogance. Not wanting to dwell on his past transgressions too long, he hastily got dressed, grabbing his hat and a walking stick, Jackie’s warning fresh in his mind.
    Making his way to out his door and down the hall towards the elevator, Monotoli was determined to retrieve Ness. The boy was Eagleland’s best hope if things were truly turning for the worse once again.
    ———
    As he made his way into his place of work, Mayor Enrich Flavor thought it was rather odd that there were so many people milling around in front of the City Hall. A closer inspection revealed that most of the people were actually police officers and detectives sealing off a crime scene, with a few nosy citizens poking around to see what was going on. As he made his way towards the crime scene, he could hear snippets of the citizens’ conversations.
    “Break in at Jackie’s…”
    “Betty said she saw neon lights las…”
    “A murder? Things like this never happened when Monot…”
    Flavor approached the nearest detective. The man was wearing a simple dress shirt and blue tie with an overcoat, looking like a detective from one of those Noire crime movies, down to the cigarette hanging from his mouth. The man was jotting something down in his pocket-sized notebook when he noticed the Mayor out of the corner of his eye.
    “Good morning, Mr. Mayor. I’m Detective Paul Dean," he said as he removed the cigarette from his mouth and dropped it onto the sidewalk, stepping on the remains and extinguishing the embers. "We received a report this morning from a passerby that a man was lying face-down on the pavement in front of City Hall.”

    Flavor casually glanced over to the charred corpse of what once was a man, watching as two officers took pictures and investigated the scene for evidence.
    “Well, I’m sure you’ll find the murderer,” Flavor said, giving him an encouraging smile that lacked any genuine warmth; one that didn’t quite reach his eye. A politician’s smile.
    “That’s the funny thing. We’ll need to investigate further, but he seemed to die after being struck by thunder. We think it might be related to the break-in at Jackie’s bar last night, but we have no way to confirm if this man and the robber are the same person."
    Flavor could believe that. The man had been flash fried, reduced to a ghoulish husk.
    “Yo! Pauly, we need you over here!” Another officer called out to the detective for a task that required his attention.

    “I’m sorry, will you excuse me?” Paul said hurriedly.
    “Of course. Don’t let me keep you,” the mayor replied, letting his smile fall from his face as the man turned away.
    Wanting to shake off the incident, Flavor told himself that the good police of Fourside would take care of the situation. He then turned around and entered the hulking City Hall, making his way to his office, strolling past the receptionist on the first floor towards the elevator. The short ride up left him alone with his thoughts.

    Mayor Flavor mopped his forehead with his sleeve; he was never good with dead bodies. It wasn’t just the way they looked or smelled, but the fallout Enrich was required to handle. Even though the man had obviously been killed by a lightning strike, the fact that it happened on the steps of city hall would mean about a week of press conferences and interviews, questions about the crime problem and public safety and animal attacks, and a thousand other things he didn’t need to deal with at the moment. As he reached the top floor and the elevator doors opened the smell of perfume wafted about.

    “Did you see the man?” Flavor’s secretary, Adrianna asked, looking over her gaudy glasses at her boss as he proceeded to make his way toward her desk.
    “The man in front? Yes, yes, they were just carting him away.” Flavor replied.
    “Oh my, did they tell you what happened to him? They wouldn’t tell me, they just made me go right inside. Do you think it has anything to do with the robbery last night?”
    Flavor dropped his coat next to the rack and opened his door. “I’m going to take a quick nap, so don’t forward any calls,” he said, not acknowledging her questions. She continued on, either not noticing or not caring.
    “And that’s not the only strange thing that happened last night, Betty said she and her husband were driving in from Threed and saw bright neon lights flashing in the sky, all the way from Dusty Dunes! I haven’t talked with Margret yet, but she has an astronomer friend so she’ll probably have a better idea—”
    “You heard me, right?” He said abruptly, cutting her off.
    “Right; don’t forward any calls, Mr. Flavor.”
    “Good.” Flavor closed his office door behind him.
    “I’ll tell you what Betty says!” Adrianna called through the thick oak doors.

    An ergonomic chair, a marble desk, an unused closet, a display case and coffee table; Enrich prided himself on being a minimalist. He closed the curtains and pulled out a bottle of hard rum. He poured himself a glass, but held off on partaking. Something was off. He felt… odd today. As soon as he entered his office, in fact. The day had already started off miserably, so why wasn’t he more miserable than usual? It should be that simple, but as soon as he walked in the door, he felt… it was hard to explain. The stack of meaningless paperwork on his desk, the press schedule, the irritating secretary, his divorced wife and estranged daughter, the dead man on the front steps, nagging constituents… they were meaningless now. He felt…

    Cold.
    Almost numb to the concerns of this waking world.
    He turned his head. The only warmth evidently emanating from the closet door. The alluring pull drawing him from his seat. Drink forgotten, in the unyielding need to investigate.
    To find the source…
    To Flavor all the world was a dull listless grey. All the world except that closet door. He felt as though the ground beneath him had given way, that he was in a grand abyss that threatened to swallow him whole. His only salvation, the door. But now it looked so… far away, the space between he and it seeming to stretch.

    He rose gradually, was it this hard to move when he had first entered his office? He couldn’t remember. His only care right now being, making it to that door. All else was washed away in the single minded pursuit of this goal. With each step that weight lifted, replaced with elation, and a vitality he hadn’t felt since his varsity days. Countless hours spent training, honing his body. Another step, another rush of power.

    He remembered dominating on the field, a juggernaut of a young man, tearing through defensive lines. Leaving ruin in his wake, back then he had felt invincible. Before he had let him self get over weight, his opponents and even a few of his team mates taunting him for the extra pounds he had gained, saying: “Flavor likes the flavor of anything.”
    One more step. One more flood of strength. and with the memory, a tinge of resentment. For not only those in his past who had taunted him, but also those who didn’t appreciate his mayoral prowess. After that fool Monotoli had left the seat vacant, he had kept this city from running into the ground, he fixed the sewer system and mobilized the Fourside police force, to take care of the rampant possessed taxis that had roamed the streets.

    He finally made it to the door, feeling like he had been walking for ages. Reaching out for the handle, no longer appearing to have control of himself, like a marionette. As though a being more powerful than himself had led him toward the door. He embraced this guiding feeling for the less he resisted, the more strength he felt, the more self-worth he attained.
    The mayor opened the closet door. What he saw amazed him, a statue etched of pure gold. A visage of a horned man gripping the hilt of a blade, the point of the weapon buried in the pedestal on which he stood. He reached out to touch the statue and his vision blurred, his legs becoming unsteady and giving way, leaving him prostrate before the idol. When he could see again, and feeling returned to his legs he was taken aback to find his office had changed, becoming a dark mirror version of it’s original form. The white walls, and marble desk, replaced for neon green and red inversions of the former decor.

    His coffee table and large comfy chair now a bright yellow and blue respectively, a neon outline inlaid by a black darker than a moonless midnight. More jarring than the bright neon decor was, the feeling this place had. A palpable weight he could sense throughout his whole body, from the top of his head to the soles of his feet.

    His first instinct was to call Adrianna, to see if everything had changed outside his office as well. but he quickly thought better of the idea. Let Betty tell her what’s going on.

    “You are wise not to call her in. She couldn’t hear you, anyways.”
    “Who said that?” Flavor asked. Jumping slightly from surprise, looking around the his office trying to find the speaker. The strange, almost alluring voice seemed as though it came from all around him. Giving the disembodied voice an echo-like reverb.
    “Richard Flavor, I sense in you a drive to excel. A drive not often found in lesser beings.”
    Flavor approached the statue sitting in his previously unused closet. “Who are you and, what is it that you want?”
    “I am a benefactor, from a far off world. I speak to you through this idol of avarice. My goal is to induct your race into the ‘Collective’, adding your people to an intergalactic community that spans the stars.” The statues eyes glowed green as it relayed the message to Flavors mind.
    “And what exactly do you gain from this union?”
    “We are a magnanimous race, it is our duty to spread knowledge. One we take quite seriously.”
    Flavor crossed his arms and looked at the statue with a skewed eye. “That’s not what I meant,”
    “Ah, the shrewd mind of a politician. I knew I made the right choice for a partner.”
    “My own stake in this endeavor, is simply to make a point about how things should be done.”

    Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Flavor’s office returned to normal. The sky outside was blue, and his walls were once again a pure white. The gold statue glowed dully in the closet. He slowly returned to his desk, and sat down in his chair. Taking a liberal swig of the drink he poured when he first entered, downing half of it. The rum settling in his stomach did little to calm him.
    “So what’s my motivation for helping you ‘induct’ humanity?”
    “Other than going down in your people’s history, as the one who shepherded them into a new technological age the likes of which they had never dreamed of? I offer the power within this Mani Mani statue.”
    “Is that what that neon nightmare was? Th-the…power of the statue?”
    “In a sense….”
    “..What you saw was Moonside, a plane of existence fabricated by the emotions and memories of those who come into contact with the Mani Mani. I can condense this psionic energy and gift it to you. Though magicant made manifest must be accepted wholly, if you have any doubt within your heart you will be devoured by it.”

    He was silent for a moment, taking a smaller drink from his glass. Remembering the aura that enveloped him when he touched the statue, Flavor had felt as if he owned the world. Now he actually could.

    The thought both scared and excited him. He wondered how the citizens of world react to such a change.
    He wondered what Articia would say, would she come crawling back? Or would she be ashamed of him? She always use to say he had become a tyrant, in the months leading up to their separation.
    Flavor nodded. He wanted power, craved fame and glory. He wanted more out of life than a stint as a civil servant. What awaited him here? Years of work followed by retirement, and a unceremonious death. Forgotten like so many others, lost to the foggy mists of time.
    “I accept your offer, show me how things should be done.”
    A golden blade appeared on Flavors desk in front of him, a simulacra of the sword the statue held.
    “Take the blade and we shall see the strength of your resolve.”


    Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

    sprite Fox4729


      Chapter 3: A Push in the Right Direction
      “Okay. Please tell him I called. Thanks. Goodbye.”
      Paula hung up the phone. Dejected, she made her way towards the front door, past her mother, who was putting a Band-Aid on the knee of a small boy. She’d always been quick to notice when Paula was upset. It was one of the things she loved about her mother; always taking the time to make sure those around her were alright. It was no wonder she’d become a preschool teacher.
      “What’s wrong, honey?” her mother asked.
      “It’s nothing, Mom. I was just calling Ness, but his mom said he’d gone out to pick up his sister from a friend’s house. I’m gonna go sit on the bench out front; get some fresh air.”
      “Well, alright. Keep your head up, dear. You know Ness’ll call as soon as he can. He’s a good boy.” Paula’s mother said, reassuring her child the best way she knew how.
      Paula gave her mother a hug before making her way to the front door.
      “Thanks, Mom.”

      Paula exited her home, sitting down upon the white bench that was in front of her house. The wood was worn from the weather and from years of use. It was apparent it had been here for some years, obviously older than her.
      When she had asked her father why they hadn’t gotten a new one. He had said it was gift from her grandmother when her mother had first opened up the preschool; the very same one that Mrs. Polestar’s mother used to have on her porch when she still lived in Twoson, enjoying blissful days drinking lemonade and reading books in the warm summer sun.
      Paula had no memory of her grandmother. Her father said she’d moved to Fourside many years ago, and had grown too sick to travel for visits. Paula had wanted to try to find her when the adventure had taken them to Fourside, but there had been no time when the world was in danger. She’d have to speak about it to her mother. It seemed wrong not knowing her, and now there was plenty of time; she’d saved the world.

      A small smile formed on her face as she recalled the adventure with her friends, the memories still fresh in her mind. It had only been a month since the defeat of Giygas. She’d been thrust headfirst into adventure, and while there were many fun moments, there were just as many scary ones. As her psychic abilities had begun to manifest, so too did new obstacles rise to challenge them. She wondered if she’d still have a use for them in her future as she formed a small flame on her fingertip, making it fly in intricate patterns as people walked down the sidewalk past her home, going about their lives, seemingly oblivious to the little girl making flames dance.
      The whole town had known Paula was special from a young age; it was common knowledge. Her penchant for helping people find lost objects had been the first indication. As if plucking the memories from their heads, she would locate the most sorely-missed of items. Her kind nature evident. They’d accepted it without question when she returned home with a new host of powers, having known all along that the girl who lived in the Polestar Preschool was destined for great things, even if she, at the time, had not.

      Her train of thought was broken when a car rounded the corner. She recognized the driver as the former mayor of Fourside, and leapt from the bench, sprinting to the sidewalk and waving her hands above her head in an attempt to get his attention.
      “Mister Monotoli!” she yelled, waving more frantically. He slowed and pulled up in front of her house, rolling down the window on the passenger side and leaning forward to get a better look at her.
      “Paula! Good to see you!” It had been a while since she’d last seen the former mayor of Fourside. He’d only been retired a short time, but he seemed as lively as ever.

      “Good to see you, too! What brings you to Twoson?”
      She noticed the subtle shift in his expression, worry etched into his features his brow furrowing.
      “Well, I was on my way to Onett, actually,” he said. “It seems someone has stolen the statue pieces from Jackie’s Bar.”
      Her carefree smile faded at the news. She knew all too well, the harm that nightmarish idol could cause.
      “You’re going to ask for Ness’ help?”
      Monotoli nodded his head.
      The adventure wasn’t over.
      “Take me, too! He’ll need my help for whatever’s going on!” Paula said quickly. There had been many close calls on their last quest; there was no way she’d let Ness face this one alone. The apprehension was plain on the old mans face.
      “Paula I’m not su-” Monotoli was cut off as Paula’s mother opened her front door to call out to her daughter.
      “Paula, honey! Ness is on the phone for you.”
      Paula turned to answer her mother but stopped quickly and turned back to Monotoli. “Are there any other details I need to tell Ness? All we know is the pieces are missing?”
      “That’s it, but I think that’s enough to warrant an investigation,”
      “Alright, I’ll let him know. And before you try to argue again, I’m going. I’m not letting him go it alone.” She then rushed off to answer the phone, not giving Monotoli the chance to disagree.

      “Who’s that outside, sweetie?” Mrs. Polestar asked as Paula bolted past her.
      “The old mayor of Fourside!” Paula hurriedly blurted out as she ran for the phone upstairs.
      “Hello?”
      “Paula? My mom said you called for me.”
      “Ness, there’s trouble again. Someone’s stolen the pieces of the Mani Mani.”
      “What!?” Ness sounded incredulous, his voice rising in disbelief.
      “That’s all I know so far, but I doubt anything having to do with that statue will end well,” she replied.
      “Who’re you getting this news from?”
      “Mr. Monotoli, His car was driving past my house, on his way to ask you for help. We have to check this out,” Paula implored. “Maybe we’ll be able to take care of whatever this is early, and avoid a whole mess.”
      “And maybe things will stay normal this time.” Ness said wistfully, his and Paula’s whole summer had been spent fighting aliens, and while it had been a grand adventure returning to a mundane life had been a welcome respite from the events of that quest.
      “Then it’s settled. I’ll grab some supplies and we’ll be right over,” She had already started making a mental list when Monotoli had given her the news; her Holy Fry Pan, Goddess Ribbon, Goddess Band, and a few PSI Carmels should be a good start. She prayed she wouldn’t need more.
      “You should call Jeff before you go, last I heard from him, he and his dad were in Fourside visiting the Museum.”
      “I’ll use telepathy, it’ll be way faster.”
      “Alright, See you soon.”
      “Bye Ness.”

      She hung up the phone and rushed to get together everything she needed for an impromptu adventure. Scouring her room to locate her Holy Fry Pan. The only thing on her list she couldn’t find. She made her way back outside to Mr. Monotolis car after a few minutes of frantic searching.
      “Mom? Have you seen my Holy Fry Pan?”
      “Yes dear, it’s in the cupboard next to the fridge.”
      Paula sped back inside returning moments later with her weapon, she was fully equipped and ready for action. Her mother gave her a look, one of rueful acceptance.
      “I guess Mr. Monotoli told you what’s going on?”
      “Yes sweetheart, please be careful and come home safe.” Mrs. Polestar hugged her daughter tightly and kissed her forehead. A short moment later she releashed her child and Paula got in the passengers seat as the retired mayor started up the car.
      “I will mom. This’ll be the last adventure.”
      “It better be young lady.” Mrs. Polestar said closing the door for her daughter.
      The car sped off down the street towards Onett.



      Chapter 4: Golden Blade
      As he made his way down the escalators in the Grand Department Store, Jeff wondered what could’ve gotten Paula so worked up. She had sounded so worried, telling him that the Mani Mani pieces had been reassembled, and that the current Mayor of Fourside might have the idol. At first she had suggested, that he should wait for Her, Ness, and Monotoli to arrive as back up but Jeff had assured her, he’d be fine; He didn’t need psychic powers to take care of himself. He left the store and made his way to City Hall.

      Luckily the Museum, City Hall, and Department Store were all close by each other. So he’d taken the time get some things together, in case the looming threat Paula had told him of gave him any trouble. He had gotten together; materials to make a Double Beam and a Slime Generator, ingeniously combing the two items giving the laser gun an alternative mode of fire to immobilize enemies.
      He’d bought a Double Burger, Coin of Defense, and a couple of Big Bottle Rockets as well. He’d have to work with what he had, as his old equipment was all back in Winters.
      Dr. Andonuts had come to the city to take care of some business at the Museum and Jeff decided to accompany his father, since the end of his journey around the world he had made an effort to leave Snow Wood more often. Helping the doctor on his many experiments, and making up for the time lost between a father and son.

      Though even in only a month they had made great inventions together, they were still vexed by one seemingly insurmountable task. Getting the Phase Distorter to transport organic matter. At this point it was more to prove that it could actually be done, more than for the ability of traversing time itself. They routinely visited Saturn Valley to collaborate with the Mr. Saturns for their input. Jeff was still amazed at their ingenuity and resourcefulness. The lack of hands never seeming to stymie their work.
      He entered city hall and approached the front desk, remembering his last visit to the building. Every thing had remained largely the same. It seemed to be a slow day as the room was empty, save the receptionist idly filing her nails, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else.
      “Excuse me, is the Mayor in?”

      The brunette woman looked up from her nails to ask him. “Do you have an appointment?”
      He wasn’t expecting that, he hadn’t even thought of needing to go though the proverbial red tape to reach the Mayor. Last time in their haste, the group had simply made an assault on the building, storming in and making a mad dash to the top to rescue Paula. He’d need more tact this time. If there really was a new threat brewing he couldn’t afford to wait around for the others.
      “I don’t, I wasn’t aware you needed one. But I need to see Mayor… " He trailed off, not actually knowing the current mayors name. He’d been so caught up in getting the supplies to confront the man, he hadn’t given much thought to how he would get to his target, much less his name.


      Betty returned to filing her nails as she casually finished Jeffs sentence. “Flavor.”
      The silence filling the room, punctuated by the sound of the nail file etching.
      “Yes, thank you. I need to see Mayor Flavor, for a school assignment.” A truth, within a lie.
      “I need his opinion on the how the rising taxes affect the different wealth classes, and how he plans on mitigating the socio economic-”
      “Stop, kid.” She interrupted him with a sigh. “I’ll send word to his secretary just….go.”
      “Thank you.” He made his way toward the elevator, going over the last time he had been there to recall the route to the office on the top floor.
      ———

      Flavor grabbed the weapon off of his desk, Inspecting it as he got up from his chair. It was a golden longsword with serrated teeth, lacking a crossguard or pommel, the hilt of the blade was made of some light green stone and had a slight curvature to it, allowing the sword to fit into his hand comfortably, enhancing his grip and giving his strikes more precision.

      He gave it a few test swings to get a feel for the weight of the sword, it was lighter than it had initially looked. Whipping through the air with the ease of a child, absentmindedly swinging a stick. But this was no plaything. Flavor could feel an energy pulsing through his very being like a new heartbeat, flowing from the sword, up his arm and although his whole body.
      “This is not only a weapon, it is a representation of your connection with the Mani Mani. As you continue to use it you will strengthen this connection. For now you should have access to basic psychic abilities such a levitation and psychokinesis. But in time you will develop an arsenal of powers.”

      Flavor pointed the sword toward his chair and focused. The chair began to wobble, and slowly ascended. Rising over his head.

      “This is unbelievable! And you said I could fly?” He asked, after guiding the seat through the air with his sword. Like a conductor at the head of an orchestra.
      He returned the chair to it’s place behind his desk and again concentrated, but this time on himself. He could feel a warm feeling on the bottoms of his feet, and as it faded he began to float. An inch, then two, then six as he levitated higher and higher. Coasting through the air, making laps around his office laughing like a madman all the while. He hoped Adrianna was on her break, he had no idea how he’d explain his manic laughter if she ever brought it up. Telling her, the pure exhilaration of flight had momentarily robbed him of his senses didn’t seem like it’d be a good idea. And if she knew of any of this, half the building would know within the hour.

      “I hate to spoil your fun, but you will have company very soon.”
      He landed in-front of the statue. “Company? Is Adrianna on her way in?”
      “Your secretary is the least of your concerns. To get the Mani Mani here, I convinced a human to acquire the pieces and bring them to your building. This seems to have alerted the individuals who had a hand in stopping the last invasion of your world. One of them is on his way up here at this moment and will arrive promptly.”
      Flavor realized right away. “The dead man on the steps.”
      “Precisely, luckily for you the boy has no PSI. His elimination should be fairly simple.”
      He had heard about the group of kids, that had risen to the task of defending the world.
      “Do I really have to attack a child?”
      “If you wish to make your ambition a reality you will have to make sacrifices. For the good of your people as a whole, do not waver.”
      He reached past the idol, to grab a spare jacket off of a hook in the closet.
      “Fine, for now I’ll capture him and we’ll work it out from there.”
      He went back to his desk and put the empty glass sitting on it away within a drawer, as he sat in his chair and kicked his feet up. Waiting for his guest.
      ———
      Ding
      The elevator chimed, denoting that Jeff had arrived at the top floor. As he made his way down the hall towards the secretaries desk, He noticed that it was devoid of all activity, much like the lobby.
      He was glad. He wouldn’t have to explain his reasoning for coming here to any one else. He’d lucked out with the woman on the ground floor, taking advantage of her indifference. But there was no guarantee that other employees would be so quick to pass him over. He walked past the desk and knocked on the double doors to the mayors office.
      A few seconds went by and he heard a voice from the other side of the doors. “Come in.”
      Jeff pushed open the door, entering the large office. Directly in front of him was a desk, behind it the mayor. His chair was turned around and he was facing the window behind him. Looking out at the view and the busy city streets below.
      “What brings you here my boy?” The mayor inquired as he turned in his chair. He was a broad shouldered blonde haired man. His strong jaw, accented by his beard. He was wearing a black suit and green tie.

      He sounded legitimately curious. Maybe he was, but Jeff wasn’t interested in playing games with the man, the mayor didn’t know of the power he was toying with. Or maybe he did? Both thoughts were unsettling in their own right.
      “The statue that was stolen from Jackies Bar last night, is a extremely dangerous extraterrestrial artifact that seeks out powerful or influential people. It sought out the last mayor and I believe it has done the same to you,”
      A slight smile formed on Flavors face only for a split second, a smirk that Jeff would’ve missed had he not been paying attention.
      “Mr…” Flavor said, adjusting his tie. Loosening it’s fit ever so slightly.
      “Jeff.”
      “Mr. Jeff, I believe this is all a misunderstanding if you’ll allo-”
      Flavor attempted to rise from his chair, but Jeff drew his weapon swiftly. Aiming it squarely at Flavors chest.

      “Stop right there, and put your hands where I can see them Mr. Mayor,”
      He did as he was told, the very embodiment of docility.
      “Not show me where you’ve hidden the statue, it has to around here some where.”
      Flavor with his hands above his head made a quick movement, flicking his wrists in Jeffs direction. The desk in front of him instantly vaulted forward as if thrown by a titanic gust of wind. Jeff rolled to the left, popping back up and aiming his laser gun with haste, as the desk collided with the entrance door. He scanned the room, but the mayor was gone.
      He looked upward to see the Mayor of Fourside standing on the roof, as he man kicked off of it, a golden seven foot blade appeared in his hand. Pulled from nothingness. Jeff fired his Double beam. The focused light beam crashed into the mayors weapon, a continuous struggle pushing him back, as energy poured from the laser gun in tumultuous wave after wave. Light and energy sheared in all direction as Flavors sword took in the onslaught of power, what couldn’t be absorbed by the blade was deflected, pillars of light ate through what ever they came into contact with, burning deep gashes in the walls and floors all around the room.

      The smell of burning wood and plaster filled Jeffs nostrils, sweat ran down his back and his arms were beginning to tire. At this rate he’d be over powered. He need a plan to subdue the man. Quick.
      He adjusted the angle of the gun ever so slightly, subtlety. Twisting his position, causing Flavor to do so in turn. The mayor had to reorient himself in mid-air, not noticing as he was methodically placed and guided in-front of his window.
      Jeff flicked a switch with his thumb, suddenly the shaft of destructive light turned into a clear slime, slapping Flavor into the sturdy glass with a resounding thunk. Holding him in place.


      In the mayors green eyes, Jeff saw a mixed reaction. One of equal parts; surprise and grudging respect.
      “They said this would be easy, but you’re no push over boy,” Flavor laughed. “It seems I’m at your mercy.” Though the smirk on his face, told the young boy otherwise.
      “Who are ‘they’?” “Are you talking about Giygas? Is he the one behind this?” He put away his firearm. The fight had been quick but vicious, the office looked like a warzone, with the flipped desk in front of the door and numerous burns marking the floor and walls.
      “To be honest. I don’t have the slightest clue, but one thing I’ve learned in my career is; when the devil comes to town, it’s better to be on his right hand side, than in his path.”
      “No matter,” Jeff wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Once Paula and Ness get here, a little mindreading should clear that mystery right up.”
      “Will it now?” Flavors tone was mocking, almost playful. “Do you think they’ll get here before those Bottle Rockets go off?”

      “What are yo-” Then he heard it. Suddenly the fuses on the pair Big Bottle Rockets he’d brought had been lit somehow. They’d been held in covert pockets on the inside of his coat, placed to be quickly accessible. Jeff reached into his coat and pulled them out, one in each hand.
      “Ahh, Pyrokinesis is so convenient a skill. Think of the money I’ll save on lighters!” Another manic laugh escaped his throat, as Jeff flung the rockets at the man and leapt behind the desk for cover.
      The office rocked with the concussive force of the duel explosions, if no one knew something was going on in here, they definitely would now. Jeff poked his head from behind his makeshift shelter, to see that Flavor, along with most of the window was gone.

      “Jeff Andonuts, how long have you struggled in the shadows of titans?”
      Jeff looked around the destroyed office, caught off guard by the new voice in his mind. He was use to Paula speaking in his head, but this was different. This voice held an undertone of sadness, as if he actually felt bad for Jeff. “Who’s there? What do you mean?”
      “The son of a famous scientist and the only unremarkable among an exemplary group of psychics. I know in the secret and shadowed parts of your heart and mind what you hunger for,”
      “Go forth young brightmind, and open the closet door.”

      Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

      sprite Fox4729


        Chapter 5: Grains in the Glass

        “Faster! Mr. Monotoli I think Jeff’s in trouble, I can’t hear his thoughts anymore,” Paula urged the old man. After they picked up Ness from his home, they had made a bee line for Fourside, all the while Paula was concentrating on Jeffs battle in the city. Ness leaned over the top of the passengers seat and asked.

        “Is he okay?”
        “I don’t know,” She opened her eyes, looking out at the sea as the car traveled over the bridge leading into Fourside. “As soon as he walked into the Mayors office I lost contact with him, I can still feel his presence and emotions but….I can’t talk to him,” She rolled down her window to get some fresh air.
        “Jeff won’t go down easily,” Ness said trying offer her some measure of reassurance. She wanted to believe that her friend was fine, but couldn’t shake the feeling that something awful had happened. Couldn’t help thinking it was her fault that Jeff had put himself in that situation.
        “And if he is in trouble, we’ll definitely save him.” The young boy added.
        She gave him a smile, though she was still worried. Ness always had a rallying effect on her and the other chosen. In their darkest moments, he had always lifted their spirits when things seemed hopeless. So why wouldn’t the uneasiness in the pit of her stomach go away?

        “Alright you two, we’ve made it.” Monotoli brought the vehicle to a stop, parking next to the museum.
        Across the street was city hall, formerly known as the ‘Monotoli Building’. As Paula got out of the car she noticed people we’re staring and pointing at the top floor, looking up she could see that one of the windows had been blown out.
        Don’t worry Jeff, we’re coming.
        ——-
        Flavor sat cross legged on the roofs helipad, picking the remnants of the slime he’d been coated with, off of his suit and out of his hair.

        “The boy almost bested you.” The voices tone was one of surprise and contemplation, as if the possibility of that outcome hadn’t crossed its mind.
        “He’s a clever one, I’ll give him that,” He rose to his feet, then levitated.
        “Indeed, though he may prove to be a valuable asset. Do not concern yourself with him for now. I have other duties that I require you to fulfill,”

        Flavor rose higher and higher, till he reached the clouds, the view was immaculate. He could see the whole city and just barely make out the shapes of people, going about their lives. Oblivious to the fast approach of a new era of opulence. His era.

        “You must go to Stonehenge in Winters, the shifting sands of the Scaraba desert and to the summit of Mt Itoi,”
        “Before I go off on your little scavenger hunt, I need to ask you about a good point the boy brought up during our scuffle, Who exactly are you?” He replied.
        The voice ceased speaking within his mind, for moment Flavor thought he wouldn’t get an answer at all.
        “I will reward you with the information of my identity, once you’ve obtained what I need from these locations, Have I not already given you power beyond dreaming? When you complete these tasks you will have my trust and in turn my name. Not a moment sooner.”

        “Very well partner,” Flavor said, punctuating his last word, a bit of distrust tingeing his inflection. He soared off in the direction of Winters, the golden sword glinting in the sunlight. Rocketing towards the first step of his new destiny.
        ——-
        “IF THE JANITOR DOESN’T COME INTO WORK, THAT’S HIS PROBLEM, NOT MINE! I TOLD YOU, IF I GOT ONE MORE MEMO TELLING ME TO CLEAN THE TOILETS, I’D QUIT. NOWHERE IN MY CONTRACT DOES IT SAY I HAVE TO CLEAN TOILETS!” The maid was all sound and fury, she’d reached the limits of her patience, her distaste for her employer evident in her tone.
        “Electra calm down, I’m just the messenger,” Adrianna replied sipping her coffee in the break room as she read the newspaper.
        “I’m serious, This is ridiculous!” Electras volume lowered only slightly.
        She’d spoken to the mayor about this just last week, told him plain as day; she replaced the toiletries. She. Didn’t. Clean. Toilets. Yet here was Adrianna, bothering Electra on her break. Asking her if she could take care of this and that. It was already bad enough that the woman gossiped constantly, spreading any news that reached her ears with a ruthless efficacy. It’d be almost impressive, if it wasn’t so annoying.

        No more. This was the last straw, she was going to give Flavor the verbal beat down he deserved. She wasn’t the only maid in the building who felt this way, she was just the most vocal. Yesterday Betty told her; she’d admired the maids spunk, her willingness to speak her mind was a breath of fresh air she had said. Though Electra suspected what the ground floor receptionist really appreciated was the commotion she caused, the break from the grueling monotony of the work day brought on by her frequent outbursts. She couldn’t begrudge her for that.
        Electra got up from her chair, grabbing her apron off the back of it, as she left the break room. Heading for the elevator to discuss her current employment situation with the mayor. As she waited for it to take her up to the top floor, her thoughts drifted to the old elevator attendant; Nicky. Her only friend in her place of work, Betty and the other women in the maid staff were nice enough, and Adrianna was…manageable but Nicky was her confidant. Someone she could come to for advice, knowing her level headed point of view would give her a certain clarity that most simply lacked. She had moved to Summers, when her boyfriend inherited a piece of property there about two months ago. From that point on it was all lavish living and perfect weather, she really needed to get into contact with her old friend, maybe she would after telling Flavor off. She’d certainly have more free time after that, It might be time for a long needed vacation. The elevator came to a stop, the ring denoting she’d arrived at her destination, she took a deep breath and composed herself. Getting ready to focus her indignation into a eloquently worded whiplash. She walked down the hall, put both hands on the door to the mayor’s office pushed them open, and with fists clenched, stomped in.

        “FLAVOR! I QUI…”
        The sight before her, left the maid speechless, in the middle of the room was a little girl in a pink dress with ribbons in her hair, from her hands flames erupted. Her target; a young boy in a green suit, and black bow-tie. Before him, his hand was outstretched, willing the fire that threatened him, to turn away, allowing it to burn all else around him. She could feel the intense heat on her face and arms from the doorway. In his other hand was a golden gladius stained with blood. Behind the girl was another boy wearing a baseball hat, stripped shirt, and backpack. Holding a wound in his shoulder, as a green luminescence shone beneath his hand. At his side was her former boss; Geldegarde Monotoli. He turned as she burst into the office.
        “Electra!? Get out of here before it’s too lat-” Then she felt it, a massive weight pulling her down, to her hands and knees. She and the others in the office were pushed to the floor by an unseen force, the only one unaffected was the boy with the sword.
        “I think it’s time for a field trip, it’s getting a little too crowded in here for my tastes,” the boy said as he snapped his fingers. Space seemed to stretch in front of Electra, as if the whole office was made of elastic and a giant was pulling both ends, trying to see how far it’d go before snapping. She felt a wave of humidity, and smelled the dry arid scent of desert air, then everything went dark.
        ——-
        The heat of the sun beat down on her back, as she quickly stepped out of the way of another lash of lightning that leapt from Jeffs weapon, the bolt leaving a hole in the street.
        Stupid! It was all her fault he’d fallen under the sway of the Mani Mani, Her fault Ness had gotten cut when she’d hesitated. “Jeff please, we want to help you!” She cried out in frustration.
        This time putting up a psychic shield to stop her friends attack, protecting both her and Ness as strike after strike assaulted them, with seemingly no end in sight.
        “But you’ve already helped me Paula,” He replied, drawing his laser gun from the inside of his jacket, with his free hand. “I have considerable strength now, let me show you.”

        He flashed a smile that made her nervous, as he reversed his grip and plunged the short sword into the middle of the street, it effortlessly sank into asphalt as if it had always belonged there. The road began to ripple as long black tendrils rose from the ground seeking her and Ness.
        She put one hand out as the first strand reached out to try and snatch her up, it froze. Covered in thick layers of ice. But more and more pursued her as she danced out of their range, freezing them as they got too close. Ness at her side, smashed the frozen tendrils after she had stopped them, blasting the others she missed with PSI Rockin. Then she had an idea, speaking within Ness’ mind.

        “Ness use Telekinesis on the sand to wrap up Jeff, I have an idea,”

        Ness did as he was told sliding his baseball bat into a loop on his backpack with haste, and forming both hands as if he was trying to crush something, clapping them in front of him. The sand rose in respond to his will, rising up on either side of Jeff enveloping him up to the neck in sand, raising him several feet into the air. Paula ran forward, placing both hands on the sand structure and closed her eyes in concentration. Her hands began to glow, and the sand turned a brilliant red orange as it heated and bubbled. She then lept back and flicked both hands downward as if she was shaking water from them. An arctic wind blew hard and fast cooling the sand, trapping Jeff in a makeshift glass prison.
        “Good thinking Paula,” Monotoli said, as he and Electra came from their hiding place behind a cactus, the only cover in the desert landscape. Electra still seemed dumbfounded by the events, though she added. “Who’s that coming up the road?” The group turned to see a man in a robe and turbin walking up the road, Ness was the first to recognize him. “Talah Rama!”

        He stopped in front of the party, looking up at the glass edifice. “It’s seems you’ve been busy, Ness, Paula, Jeff” He bowed to them as he said each of their names. “I’ve had terrible visions, and thought you might once more need my guidance,” He looked eyes with Jeff “Hopefully, I’m not to late.”
        “Of course not, your right on time,” Jeff said playfully, as his eyes began to shine with an unnatural light. A bright gold hued barrier rose from the sands baring access to the desert as the glass prison holding him shattered, sending glass in all directions. Ness put his hand up, raising a shield around the group to protect them from the hailstorm of glass. As Jeff landed on his feet. He reached out, made a fist as if taking hold of something, then yanked his hand backwards. The robed man flew through the air and stopped at Jeff side, like a rope had been cast around his waist, and someone had pulled the other end suddenly with great force.

        Talah Rama was suspended in mid-air, held there by Jeff as he said. “This has been fun but, I’ll need to cut this playdate short,” He turned his back to them. “I’ll be back for you later Paula, don’t be a stranger.”
        Then with a snap of his fingers, Jeff and his captive were gone in an instant, leaving no trace. The only evidence he’d been there were the holes in the street, the stretched and frozen parts of road that twisted this way and that, and broken glass littered everywhere. The only sound that could be heard was the wind, and finally Electra broke the silence.

        “Who was the weird kid with the gladius?”
        They all responded with various looks of confusion, “The what?” Paula asked the maid.
        “Gladius; the roman short sword he was carrying,” She explained. “Am I the only one who paid attention in history?”
        “Apparently,” Monotoli replied.

        Electra just sighed. Paula walked over to the translucent golden wall that separated the desert from the road, it rose high into the air and from where she stood, she could see it was not just a wall, it was a cube, boxing off the rest of the world from the dusty dunes. Placing her hand on it, she felt not only it’s solidity, but the strong psionic forces giving it vigor and strength. She swore; she’d break it down, find those responsible for this mess and save her friend. She had to.

        Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

        sprite Mr. Meme

        The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.

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        A new Mother fanfic has appeared on the horizon! Let’s dive into a review, shall we?


        So, firstly, let’s look at the positives. The overall plot is very interesting. I like the idea of the Mani Mani Statue returning and transforming familiar characters into villains. I was especially surprised when Jeff ended up becoming an antagonist during the fifth chapter. It always hits close to home when you see a character that you know so well take a drastic turn in mannerisms, even if it’s not a voluntary turn. I also think it’s cool how Enrich Flavor is a primary villain here. I’ve never really thought of him like this, so this is a really unique take on him. Additionally, I like the descriptions of the powers given to Flavor and Jeff by the Mani Mani Statue. I always enjoy imagery such as that. Lastly, I thought that the final fight in Chapter 5 was pretty neat. It’s cool when the setting is used to enhance fight scenes.

        Now, onto the critiques. Thankfully, most of them are grammar/spelling errors. So, first of all, my largest critique of this story. The sentence structure is really, really awkward. In all honesty, it’s borderline hard to read at some points. Take this sentence for example.

        “It was a golden longsword with serrated teeth, lacking a crossguard or pommel, the hilt of the blade was made of some light green stone and had a slight curvature to it, allowing the sword to fit into his hand comfortably, enhancing his grip and giving his strikes more precision.”

        This is a run-on sentence, and it is only one of many in the five chapters that I read. Luckily for you, they’re easily fixable. All you have to do is split the sentences up. However, you have to be careful not to improperly split the sentences, which is another thing that I noticed happens a lot in this story. Really, all of these issues can be mitigated with some simple proofreading. If you need some help doing so, I’d recommend using a program like Grammarly. It can really help you spot some embarrassing errors. Heck, if you really want to make sure your writing is spotless, people like me or Ostricho would be happy to look over your chapters and wipe out the errors for you. Just send us a PM here on Starmen, and we’ll see what we can do!

        As for some plot-related critiques, I’m left wondering about who exactly the thief at the beginning of the story actually was. He doesn’t seem to be a pre-existing Mother character, and he’s killed off before you can really elaborate on his identity. For someone with such a crucial role in the plot, he isn’t treated like he’s very important. Other than that, I find it hard to believe that Jeff would be so easily coerced into falling for the MM Statue’s trap. I don’t know—it just seems like he’d be smarter than that. If he’s drawn to the Statue by its raw influence alone, then I think you should elaborate on that. You don’t have to go into as much detail as you did with Flavor’s encounter, but some clarification would improve the scene. Lastly, and this is more of a nitpick than anything, but Flavor’s appearance is inconsistent to his EB design. In EB, he was shown to have black hair and wear a pink suit. In this story, he has blonde hair and wears a black suit. If you’re trying to imply that his look changed in the month following the events of EB, then you should try to hint at it more within the story. Otherwise, people like me will be confused by that detail.

        Well, that about covers everything I wanted to talk about. I hope you’ll use this review and any others that come after it to help better this story and your writing in general.

        I look forward to the release of the next chapter!

        Au revoir~!

        sprite Fox4729

          Thanks for the review.

          Most of the plot stuff is because of me remaking the original story. The guy in the beginning isn’t really anyone, as for Flavors design I actually didn’t remember that he was in the game

          And concerning Jeff being influenced by the statue, who went to Moonside when Paula was kidnapped? Ness and Jeff. Ness banishes the darkness in his heart when he enters his magicant. But Jeff never had that opportunity.

          Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

          sprite PSIduck 7

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          Fox4729 has asked if I would make some illustrations to accompany his story. He has suggested one of the characters look like Giegue, but with more human features. This is what I came up with. More may come in color soon.

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          PSIduck, your art is always astounding. The detail in the clothes is just professional, and the structure of his face is perfect. I’d question making a human version of an alien character from an 8-bit game, but he really does convey Giegue well. His eyes especially.

          sprite Mr. Meme

          The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.

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          Mmmm mmm MMMMM. PSIduck, saying your art is incredible would be a massive understatement! I always enjoy seeing your work when it pops up on the forums. I wouldn’t mind it if you did illustrations for some other stories here on the writing board. We have quite a few good ones, yes indeed! Either way, keep up the great work!